Love

What To Say When Someone Says, 'Tell Me About Yourself'

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couple flirting and talking

We’ve all been there. You meet someone at a party who catches your eye and strike up a conversation. Soon, the innocent banter between the two of you seems to be going well enough that it starts to get personal.

Then you hear those four words come out of their mouth: “Tell me about yourself.”

Trying to figure out how to answer what feels like an interview question and come up with the right things to say that will sound interesting enough to get them to like you without seeming rehearsed, can send you into a mild panic.

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Don’t worry. Remember, the purpose of these "getting to know you" questions is to see if you can give an honest accounting about yourself without sounding boring or conceited.

You can excel at answering when someone you're dating asks you to tell them about yourself if you follow these six simple tips.

1. Remember: it’s not a job interview.

Keep in mind the person in front of you is not looking for a chronological list of your storied accomplishments. They are looking to see what your interests are; your likes and dislikes; what makes you tick.

They like what they see on the outside, but want to know if what they hear matches.

2. Emphasize those parts of your life you’re most proud of.

They will want to see passion and enthusiasm about the things you enjoy the most. If you speak about those things matter-of-factly, it may give the impression that you’re not passionate about your life.

Therefore, they may wonder, how will you be passionate about being with them?

3. Be real.

Don’t feel like you have to make something up to make yourself look better than the next person.

Also, if you are in a relationship, say so. The truth will always come out in the end.

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4. Keep it short and brief.

You want to keep your answer to between one to two minutes. Anything longer than that will seem more like bragging or rambling.

Plus, you want to allow enough time to inject your own question in between. When they ask you about yourself, they also wants you to be just as interested in them.

5. Definitely do not follow up with the same question.

It will indicate to them that you don’t have an original thought.

While you are telling them your story, you want to look for any non-verbal clues they give because that will keep the conversation going around the topic they seem interested in.

6. Save your favorite interest until the end and ask, “Have you done or tried this before?”

This will do two things. It will show them the activity that you really enjoy the most, and it will help you determine if you have something in common.

If they hasn’t participated in the activity then it opens the door to ask them out to give it a try. By leaving the door open, you will know if you aced this question if they want to know even more about you.

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Keith Dent is a relationship coach and the author of In The Paint: How to Win the Game of Love. If you struggle with how to better present yourself in person, please contact him via email for a free consultation.

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