Learn His Love Language


Once your man has shown his commitment, love him in the way he best responds to you. It might be with back scratches or small gifts. It could be loads of oral sex. He might tell you his deepest thoughts and react to how you just smile and cherish the moment. This is called his love language.

Love language is about finding the way to show your partner your love for him by being tuned in to how he best receives it. 

It can be broken down into five basic categories.

Verbalizing your appreciation

Zach, knowing Marie really likes it when he takes out the trash without asking, does just that. Marie, knowing how Zach really loves for her to notice his act of love, returns her love to Zach by simply saying, “Zach, thank you so much for taking out the trash!” ‘Nuf said. Zach showed Marie his love by doing something for her; Marie showed her love for Zach by acknowledging with gratitude that he did it.

Doing something for the other person

We sort of covered this above, but many men show their love by doing things for their women. This could also be how your man receives your love. This doesn’t mean you necessarily need to be the one taking out the trash, but maybe, for him, you show your love for him when you pack his lunch in the morning or pick his clothes up at the dry cleaner. Maybe it’s giving him a massage at the end of a stressful week or cooking his favorite dinner when he’s had a bad day.

Give him a gift

I’m not saying you’ve got to go to great expense here; in fact, it’s the smallest gifts, which often mean the most. You could do something as simple as putting a hand-written note, which says something like “I know you will nail your presentation today” in his computer bag before he leaves for work. This will, for sure, put an extra spring in his step as he walks into that big meeting. Gifts can be something you make, or something as simple as buying his favorite cookie at the bakery.

Spend time with him

For some men, they need extra quality time with you. Maybe he really enjoys it when the two of you watch a football game together, or even a chick flick. He may just enjoy being near you. He might really connect with you when the two of you are sharing a cup of coffee on a lazy Sunday morning. If your man’s love language is time spent together, find times and places where the two of you can have space all to yourselves to talk and share.


For some people, being touched makes them feel loved. This can be something as simple as holding hands, or something more involved like a massage, foot rub or maybe just snuggling together under a blanket for a nap or an old movie. Touch is very powerful and provides you with an opportunity to show your love by how and where you touch someone. Find little moments to provide this touch, like laying a hand on his leg when he’s driving or holding his hand at a party.

My love language is different from that of other men. It’s up to you to explore and see what clicks. You will find he will do the same - and the communication begins. There is a special moment when every guy suddenly, and maybe subtlety, says, “I need to marry this woman” and it happens during one of these moments.

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