Years in Practice

25 years +


Berkeley CA 94710 - United States



Additional Expertise

Author, Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychotherapist, Speaker/Presenter

I Practice in

All areas, please inquire



I Believe

There is something profoundly healing about being in a true bond. It's where the whole family feels like they have a safe haven in the world. I want people to feel like they have a secure place. When couples are happy in their relationship there's an exponential ripple effect of happiness.

About Sheila Rubin

I am a master therapist with over 30 years of experience, as well as an internationally sought-after keynote speaker, author, teacher, and director.

I am the therapist people come to when someone's had an affair...or is about to. I've helped thousands of people and saved hundreds of relationships.

When many couples come to me, they feel like it's the beginning of the end.

My work with straight and LGBT couples is distinctive because I understand the underlying shame loop. There's a pain that can happen in the confusion of communication. Have you ever experienced a simple "Good morning" or "Good evening" or "Did you pick up the groceries?" only to have it escalate to the sky?

I've developed ways to work with the blame/shame game in couples that starts by building a secure base.

It used to be that women called me because their husbands were insensitive. Now many times husbands call me because their wives cheated on them. I understand the delicate complexities of shame around these sensitive topics.

Many couples have saved their marriage after an affair or an online affair. We work to heal the attachment injuries that come from the affair and then go deeper into the attachment injuries that might lie at the root of the affair.

I use Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy, which provides a map to build earned secure attachment during the couple's sessions and with homework. We work to bring understanding to the underlying attachment style of each person and how it may trigger the partner.

Together we unpack the dynamic until the couple begins talking to each other with more clarity and ease. Quite frequently couples reconnect sexually after the first couple of sessions! I do couples therapy in person or virtually in the state of California, and I offer consulting for therapists internationally.

Download the Strength, Resilience & Hidden Shame Guidebook for FREE for instant support for your life and relationships at  www.SheilaRubin.com

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