How To Stay Calm When It Seems Like Things Are Falling Apart

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How To Stay Calm When It Seems Like Things Are Falling Apart
Self

What more can go wrong?

I am working ridiculous hours feeling like I am unappreciated, unheard, unseen and unrewarded…

My partner is fed up with me cancelling date nights and putting work and kids before him and we just aren’t as connected…..

My kids are playing up, arguing, crying, fighting with each other and me….

My clothes are getting tight, my hair looks a wreck and I’m feeling old – and exhausted!

Now my friends are even causing dramas as I don’t have time for them 

And to top it off, the world is going insane too!  With pandemics, race riots, hatred!

This in fact was my life a few years ago and in this article I’m going to share with you 10 top tips of exactly how to be unaffected by what’s going on in the world around you, and go a step further, to help you be back in control.  I’ll also share with you a link to a video that I know will be extra helpful for you.

Change Your Body Posture

It may sound silly but studies show that by simply looking up, squaring our shoulders and placing our hands on our hips shifts our energy from overwhelm to strength and power.  It also makes people take more notice of us, which when we want to be heard is incredibly important.  Even if you don’t feel like it and just want to shrink away, this simple move will instantly help you calm down

Breathing

We all know this one I’m sure but it’s the first step to changing ourselves from reacting to responding.  It forces us to slow down and consider what is going on.  Once we have a moment to consider, we can then decide how we want to respond because we have time to ask ourselves exactly that, as opposed to just the default reaction of shouting back or shrinking away

Dancing

This is an amazing too to calm us down.  Granted, if you just started dancing at work or in front of your kids, they might think you were a bit crazy – but crazy can be good at times.  My kids are used to my madness and it certainly breaks the cycle of combat I find myself in at times.  If you don’t want to break out dancing instantly, then I would definitely recommend it in private, in your bedroom, with super-loud music blasting.  Just feel the music and let it take you to a ‘happy place’.  It helps you to totally de-stress.  In my own life, there are times when I’m so worked up that stopping to meditate doesn’t work. I need to blow off steam which I do with crazy dance moves, and then I can calm myself down with a more relaxed meditation.

Write It Down

When we allow all that is going on around us to affect us emotionally, we take on an overload of emotions.  When we take the time to get it out of us by putting it on paper, we feel so much better.  You may do this in the form of journaling, or perhaps writing lists.  When you look at things in black and white reflected back at you, they never seem quite so overwhelming or scary. We feel like it is all doable and we have some control of it.

Time Blocking

I’d urge you to start blocking off your diary.  If we spend time trying to do everything then ‘everything’ affects us all day long.  Take some time to block off when you are going to do things, and also when you are going to think about things.  For example, if you are feeling affected by what is going on outside of your life, such as the environment, then make a choice to schedule time to contemplate that, but also block off specific time to work on the things you can control and move forward.  The same applies to time you may spend on social media and watching the news.  If you spend a big chunk of your day doing this without set limits, then you are subjecting yourself to this negative onslaught indefinitely, leaving you feeling out of control.

Boundaries

I cannot stress how powerful creating boundaries in every part of your life is.  When you say “no” to people or things that you don’t truly want to do, and get to a stage where you feel good about doing so, you will feel so much more powerful.  By saying “no” to doing things that in your heart you really didn’t want to, and say “no” to people you really didn’t want to spend time with, your sense of calm increases dramatically.  This way you are not taking on the negative energy of others and situations around you.

Communication

Along with setting boundaries, being able to communicate your needs without upsetting people is the key to feeling in control of your life.  If you don’t want someone to behave in a certain way, we can find it really difficult to express this without upsetting them, and so we continue to get irritated and hold the frustration within us, or end up having a fight because it all come out wrong.  Making requests on a needs basis, and taking ownership of your feelings without accusing others of making you feel a certain way works wonders on the stress levels.

Choose Happy Thoughts

Recognising we have choice in everything we do and everything we believe is easier said than done.  When you master it however,  it is an instant fix to helping you feel calm and experience joy despite what may be going on around you.  If you choose to believe that everything around you is chaotic and you have no control, then that will trigger a feeling of anxiety in you and in turn make you behave in a way that continues to feed those feelings.  If you choose a more empowering thought that would make you feel happier about a situation, whether it seems real or not, you will feel better.  Tell yourself that you have complete control of everything and it will all work out well.  When you do – see how it makes you feel.  Even more powerful it to shout it out!

Commit 

Make a commitment to do something to feel better and keep at it.  If you decide to start blocking time, then commit to it fully, believe that it is going to work and help you feel calmer. Once you do this, you will feel more in control.  In turn, once you feel more in control, it gives you courage to keep going, and as you keep on doing it, like any new skill, you become more capable.  This in turn makes you so much more confident to keep going.  It becomes a cycle, because being more confident feeds your commitment to keep going.

Beware Of The Voice In Your Head

The voice in your head is a part of you telling yourself you can’t cope or that everything is collapsing around you.  When this voice tells you this, it affects your feelings and then your behaviours.  Be aware of the voice in your head and if you don’t like what it says because it is affecting your sense of calm, tell it to go away.  One thing I do as a very visual person is to see myself physically battling it away, or I shake my head and say “next”, to tell that voice that I am choosing not to listen.  Again, like with all of these tactics, the more you practice, the more effective it gets.

So next time you feel like everything is falling apart around you and you want to be that pristine calm person who is unaffected, try some or all of these tactics and notice how people start to notice the change in you.  You really can radiate in a state of joy despite circumstances.

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To understand why the tactics you have tried before aren’t helping you feel calmer and what you can do to feel better watch this video now.  

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