The Real Role Of The “Black Sheep” Of The Family


At most, there is only ever one black sheep in a herd. They say that every family has a “black sheep.” A very high percentage of the people that choose to work with me identify themselves as the “black sheep” of their families. They see the label as a condemnation or a curse, and, certainly, the label is a way to explain the loneliness they have experienced most of their lives. 

But, the label “black sheep” can provide a way to truly understand these individuals and help them see their inner greatness.

Here are 6 ways in which the majority would describe “black sheep.” They:

  1. Know they are different from their family members yet don’t want to be like them
  2. Want to fit in and be accepted the way others are but are not willing to conform
  3. Put up with endless criticism, judgment, exclusion, and/or mistreatment
  4. Openly state their opinions and share their unique thoughts, unless they have been rejected too often    
  5. Go through years of feeling misunderstood, sometimes a whole lifetime
  6. Feel unloved and some of them have the incorrect belief system that they are “unlovable”

Here are 6 ways to understand the inner greatness of “black sheep.” They:

  1. Are the souls with higher states of awareness; they are highly perceptive
  2. Speak their truth
  3. Know and point out when others are not acting with integrity
  4. Want to take responsibility for themselves and want others to do the same
  5. Are willing to work on themselves at a deep level (maybe after they have spent time rebelling)
  6. Are so deeply grateful when they are understood  

“Black sheep” are so accustomed to being blamed by others and are so sure that they have been in the wrong, over and over again. When they learn the 6 ways to understand themselves, they see themselves in a whole new light. It suddenly becomes clear to them that it’s GOOD to be a “black sheep!”

They are often very sensitive souls, who do an incredible job of acting cool, but who really spend a lot of time beating themselves up. There is NO need!

Usually, these individuals ARE seeing situations and others clearly. Their souls are placed within their families for a reason – they are the ones that hold up a mirror to the others and are meant to be their biggest teachers.

The “black sheep” are the ones who have the potential to help the souls of their family members grow the very most.

May this article help the thousands of you “black sheep” understand YOUR greatness for the first time ever! May others truly SEE you and applaud the role you have signed up for in this lifetime.      

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Meredith Deasley BA, RHN, RNCP, ACC is a Certified Life Coach, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Author and Speaker. You can learn more about the ways in which she helps people see their inner greatness by exploring

This article was originally published at The Resourceful Mother Blog. Reprinted with permission from the author.