Romance From Venus, Sex From Mars

Romance from Venus, Sex from Mars

Valentine’s Day falls on a Sunday this year, so it’s a great opportunity to have a terrific weekend of romance and sex!  Venusians love a man with a plan, so Martians, here’s a big a chance to sweep your Lady Love off her feet (and have some great sex while you’re at it). 

A good sex life is crucial to keeping love and passion growing in a relationship.  It’s like the glue that holds it all together.  With today’s hectic schedules, however, it’s sometimes hard to find the time to indulge in great sex.  The fact is that sometimes men tend to forget feelings and women tend to forget their sexual desire.  However, when mates prioritize time to remember their love and have sex, a relationship can begin to improve immediately.

Mars and Venus in the Bedroom explains how men and women experience sex differently and describes several types of sex to ensure the needs of both partners are met.  Basically, because men tend to operate mostly in the physical realm, the most powerful way for him to experience his love for his mate is through sex.  In fact, men actually need that physical sexual connection to feel their emotions and open up to love.  Although women enjoy great sex just as much as men, we first need intimacy and romance to best feel our hunger for sex.  A man tends to have difficulty understanding a woman’s need to relax first, because for men, they can be physically ready for sex nearly any time, while women need time to build up the desire. 

Sometimes when tension is brewing in a relationship, one partner will want to stop having sex.  But, actually, the best thing a couple can do is focus on creating better sex, because when the sex gets better, suddenly the whole relationship can improve.

Just as our palettes crave a variety of meals to keep our bodies functioning well, we also need to incorporate variety into our intimate relationships. Here are some ways to keep the passion burning:

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  • Healthy Home-Cooked Sex—This style is the basis for a regular, healthy sex life, and usually occurs a couple times a week.  It generally takes about 30 minutes and the Martian ensures that his Venusian has the time she needs to relax, build up her desire and experience orgasm(s).
  • Fast Food Sex and Cuddles—Although junk food would not be good for us as a regular diet, it can be tasty and sometimes it fits well into the schedule.  The same is true for ‘quickies’.   This 3-5 minutes given whenever he feels the need for sexual release and she’s not in the mood, is a great gift that a woman can bestow on her partner and will go a long way to ensuring he continues to feel his love for her.    If you both set some ground rules first, like not expecting her to participate much during quickies, having healthy home-cooked sex on a regular basis and gourmet sex sometimes, plus he will want to reciprocate by giving her the cuddling she needs to feel loved.  This technique can work very well so that never again will he feel rejected and she will always be able to count on him for affection.
  • Gourmet Sex—Indulge in this style of sex at least once a month. A woman needs to be wined, dined and romanced, just like in the early days (and nights) of the relationship. No excuses--put it on the schedule!  Remember the old adage “If mama ain’t happy, then nobody’s happy!” Of course, a romantic getaway is wonderful, but if money is tight, then send the kids to Grandma’s or trade babysitting evenings with the neighbors.  Begin with  a candlelight dinner on Valentine’s Eve and create the best year of sex yet!

Melodie Tucker is a Mars Venus Success Coach and Seminar Leader, trained by Dr. John Gray, author of the world famous "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" series. For the past 11 years, she has helped men and women all over the world create great relationships that last. If you'd like more information about this topic, want to learn how you can become a coach, or wish to have personal coaching for your specific situation, you can find her on YourTango Experts, check out her profile.