The Benefits Of Partnering With A Certified Divorce Coach

Family, Self

Why Hire a Certified Divorce Coach?       

Coaches create a safe, calm, and grounding place for clients during a difficult time Getting divorced is an emotionally charged process that can be time consuming and challenging.  Many people overlook the impact feelings have on the divorce process and the importance of having the necessary professional support. Emotional overwhelm is felt by several individuals contemplating the dissolution of marriage. During this time, people find themselves plagued by intense feelings that are difficult to manage and can have a profound effect on their ability to think and act rationally. The powerful sense of overwhelm leads to costly emotional and financial mistakes in divorce, which have long-term consequences for all parties involved. This is one of the many reasons that in 2013, the American Bar Association added Divorce Coaching to its list of alternative dispute resolution methods. Together, divorce coaches work alongside the other members of a client’s professional team to provide the best possible outcomes regarding the dissolution of marriage. 

As defined by the American Bar Association, “Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decision for their future based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns.”* Family Law attorneys who partner with divorce coaches say that they are able to use their time more efficiently because the divorce coaches offer non-legal services like walking clients through the practicalities of divorce and providing emotional support to the client, which allow the attorneys to focus on their area of expertise, the law.  Accountants similarly agree that divorce coaches assist clients in gathering and organizing financial information, which saves them a lot of time and creates more informed clients thus allowing them to focus more diligently on the financial aspect of divorce. 

There are several benefits for individuals getting divorced to work with a divorce coach:

A Divorce Coach creates a nonjudgmental partnership.

-Clients work with an unbiased advocate and experienced coach who is the client’s voice of reason and who fosters resiliency in the clients through self-discovery

-Clients acquire a professional to assist them in managing the divorce process and supporting them through the challenging events

-Clients gain a sounding board and thinking partner

-Clients do not feel alone and have someone on their side that they can brainstorm ideas with

-The coach is there to celebrate the client’s successes and capabilities for future growth. 

-The coach assists in managing clients’ expectations and educating them about the process of divorce such as clarifying the different options to dissolve a marriage and discussing the most efficient ways of obtaining and completing needed documents; and 

-The coach assists the client in creating a strong team of professionals.

A Divorce Coach enhances the client’s organizational skills.

-Coaches tailor a forward-looking, goal-oriented, step-by-step process for clients which is based on bridging the gap between where they are and where they want to be

-Coaches guide individuals as they sort through and organize their thoughts and documents needed by attorneys and accountants 

-Coaches help clients clarify what is important in divorce and assist them in understanding and avoiding the common pitfalls such as short sightedness, letting emotions take control, seeing only one piece, lacking compromise, desire for revenge, overusing a divorce lawyer, allowing family and friends to have too much control, and forgetting about the children’s best interest 

-Coaches encourage clients to define and redefine their personal goals to devise a strategy to empower them and fulfill their desires post-divorce; and

-Coaches often attend professional meetings with their clients to assist in moving things along in a productive and healthy manner.

A Divorce Coach provides emotional support.

-Coaches prepare clients mentally for the waves of emotion that might be experienced

-Coaches assist in building up their client’s resiliency to dealing with unexpected issues

-Coaches help to build and strengthen their client’s skills to cope with their emotions and minimize conflict

-Coaches encourage clients to break free from their feelings of victimhood and to show up as their best selves

-Coaches help to structure self-care plans for their clients so they are energized to move forward and take action; and 

-Coaches assist clients in developing a plan on how to tell the children about the upcoming family changes.

A Divorce Coach improves communication skills:

-Clients learn to make and express more informed and less emotional decisions

-Coaches help to create credible and efficient clients who are more effective communicators so they can be heard and be a full participant in their divorce process 

-Coaches help clients negotiate for their future by implementing conscious thought and intentional decision-making; and 

-Coaches assist in lowering the cost of attorney fees because the client has moved beyond the story and is prepared for the business of divorce.

Divorce coaches prepare clients, one step at a time, to turn the emotional side of divorce into the business of divorce. It is a time when many clients experience a gap between where they are and where they want to be. With the guidance of a divorce coach, clients work through the fears and obstacles keeping them stuck, develop a strategic roadmap for their divorce, have help organizing for the process, and learn skills necessary to negotiate and effectively communicate their needs, wants, and desires without being hijacked by their emotions. The goal is to help the clients show up as their best self, navigate efficiently through the divorce process, gain insight, and create a life vision for themselves based on specific intensions. 

*https://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_resolution/resources/DisputeR...(September 10, 2019)

Jennifer Warren Medwin, MS, CDC

Supreme Court of Florida Family Mediator

305-302-9777

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Jennifer Warren Medwin is an experienced Certified Divorce Coach and a Supreme Court of Florida Family Mediator.  She can partner with you in the should I or shouldn't I stage of divorce all the way through post divorce. Jennifer assists you in organizing and obtaining your documents and helps you develop the skills needed for a heathy resolution. You can contact her online at https://www.seekingempowerment.com for a complimentary discovery session in person, FaceTime, or Zoom.

This article was originally published at Thrive Global. Reprinted with permission from the author.