3 Mistakes Women Subconsciously Make That Chase Good Men Away

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How To Get A Guy To Like You By Avoiding The Biggest Mistakes Women Make In Dating & Relationships That Chase Men Away
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Love, Self

What happens when you start dating a man you're really attracted to and can start imagining a future with him?

If you want to know how to get a guy to like you, you'll need to understand how healthy relationships start.

But if you're at all like I was before I met my husband, you may suddenly feel a surge of excitement and perhaps get... well, too involved with him. You start talking about him with everyone (or maybe you don't because you worry you might jinx it).

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But one thing's for sure — you're thinking about him all the time.

Maybe you're checking his Facebook page. Or researching him online.

At first, it's curiosity. But then something else happens.

You start worrying that you might do or say something to mess things up. You try to figure out what he's thinking about you, or why he said this or did that. You free up space in your calendar in case he calls.

But here's something you really need to know: Even though he might not know any of this is going on, it starts tipping things with him against your favor.

Here are 3 reasons why you're unlucky in love and can't seem to get a guy to like you:

1. You think about him too much

Over-thinking about a man is work. When you devote time and energy to a man, you are, in a way, trying to make something happen with him. And this goes against the very core of what you want as a woman – and what he wants as a man.

Think about it. We women like a man to pursue us — to show us that he wants us. But when we think about him too much, we start to do what I call "leaning forward" — that is, we move in on the space he needs to come forward.

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Your vibe changes around him. You become anxious, and you become emotionally drained from all the analyzing. You have less energy for the other things in your life — the passions and people that made you the person he liked in the first place.

2. You let your self-esteem take a hit

Putting all your focus on one man does something else: it makes your self-esteem go down.

That's because the minute you make a man the center of your universe, you go off your center. You go from the carefree, spirited woman you are to a fearful, worrying creature.

And it shows. Believe it or not, a man can sense when you’re caught up in your head about him. Your thoughts affect your feelings and your mood.

If you've ever had a man go cold on you after a seemingly promising start, this might explain why. You transferred too much of your own personal power over to him, and he felt it. He sensed you were putting all your hopes and dreams on him before getting to know him, and that feels like pressure to a man.

So, what do you do when you're feeling very drawn to one particular man so you don't inadvertently sabotage things?

3. You forget to keep your options open

Once you’ve found a man you think is a potential keeper, it’s tempting to clear out your calendar for him and not even consider other dates. But this is exactly what makes you become fearful and worried about whether he’s going to call and what’s going to happen next.

Result: you can’t stop thinking about him, and he’ll pick up on the fact that you’re hinging on his every move.

So, use dating sites to your advantage! Keep connecting with other men and setting up dates with them.

At the same time, keep doing all the things in your life you enjoy. Don't shift your schedule around to make room for a certain man at the last minute. Keep your week busy.

Doing this means you're not playing hard to get — you actually are filling your life with all sorts of fulfilling things. And that makes you infinitely attractive.

If this guy you're falling for is Mr. Right, he'll realize he needs to step up and schedule time with you. And you won't even have to think about it.

RELATED: How To Make A Man Fall In Love With You In 9 Easy Steps (Yes, Really!)

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Rori Raye is a trained relationship coach who’s helped thousands of women transform their love lives. To learn more ways to make a lasting connection with a man through his heart, subscribe to Rori’s free e-newsletter.

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