In Love With An Addict - What Next?

Love, Family

You fell in loveFinally, you met someone special.  You seemed to have so much in common.  The attraction was intense from the start.  He promised you a wonderful future.  She appeared to be the princess of your dreams. 

Okay, so he would drink a bit too much at those weekend parties.  All right, so she would get a little flirtatious and even dance on a tabletop to get attention.  Wasn't that all part of the Saturday night fun! 

Well, it wasn't so much fun when he took you on a special boat ride, got angry at 2 AM and dropped you off at the dock alone to get home by yourself.  And it wasn't much fun when she got belligerent, said nasty things to you and then vomited all over her beautiful outfit.

But hey, he always called the next day with the sweetest, most apologetic tone.  And then he promised to make it up to you and he did - for a few days or a few weeks - until another pleasant date night gradually turned ugly. And she would call and beg you to forgive her, pleading with youand seducing you to come over and let her show you how much she loves you.  And she would greet you in a sexy outfit, pour sweet loving words in your ear, and again, you wanted to believe her - until - it happened again.

You fell in love with an addict.  At first,  you don't really believe they have a problem.  At first, you keep forgiving and trying to forget the unpleasant incidents.  But every relationship reaches a turning point.  Sooner or later you are forced to see the truth.  But are you ready to face the truth and do something about it?

Maybe you have never been intimate with an addict so you don't quite understand the severity of the problem.  You want to believe the lies and the cover-ups, the excuses and even the blame.  They may have convinced you that  YOU are the problem, that YOUR behavior or YOUR attitude needs to change.

You're in love with an addict.  You finally know that it will not magically get better.  You realize your loved one needs help and you can't help anymore.

What can you do?

Say to yourself: I Didn't Cause It, I Can't Change It.  That is the title of a very popular book by Mary Ryan Woods.  She has worked with addictions and understands the addiction process and the road to recovery only too well.

Read another popular book: A Sober Mom's Guide to Recovery. That is the title of the book by Rosemary O'Connor.  Learn from someone who overcame her addiction and went on to help others, especially women who were moms struggling with an addiction.

Read a book, written for counselors but  filled with information you can benefit from knowing.  This book is not about substance abuse.  It is a step by step road map for recovery from sexuality gone astray.  Out of Control Sexual Behavior: Rethinking Sex Addiction by Doug Braun-Harvey.

Read another book about a daughter with a mental disorder who committed suicide.  "Why Did She Jump"was written by therapist and loving mother, Joan E. Childs.

Get a copy of Sober Living Magazine, created by a woman whose son died of an overdose.

Or ----- If You Don't Have Time To Read All These Books


Listen to all these wonderful speakers and many more (23 speakers) who have worked for decades in the addiction, trauma, eating disorder and mental disorder recovery programs throughout the U.S. and outside of this country.  Give yourself and your loved ones a chance to heal from these devastating disorders that are reaching epidemic proportions.  Get the whole family involved.  It really does take a family and a community and a nation to heal.

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