Want To Find Your Soulmate? Figure Out Which Of These 4 Personality Types You Are First

Love, Self

If you're wondering how to find your soulmate, you first need to understand a bit about your personality type.

For example, some of us are attracted to people who share all the same interests. Others find that opposites attract. And it's hard to tell exactly what kind of relationship you're going to find until you find it, usually. It seems difficult to figure it out beforehand.

But should it be that hard?

In theory, there should be a "formula," a set of rules that will fit everyone in their quest to find your soulmate — one that fits your personality type seamlessly.

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Some people come together like human magnets, their opposite personality types pulling them toward each other, while others are attracted to their perfect match.

But who's to say which is right for you? This conundrum is the very topic of the YourTango Experts video, which you can watch above.

Our group of big-name experts — Helen Fisher, Rhoberta Shaler, Ross Rosenberg, and Marcie Telander — explain to YourTango Expert Senior VP Melanie Gorman the truth about how your personality type determines whether you are attracted to someone the same as you or totally opposite. Because yes! There is absolutely a way to figure it out for yourself. 

There are 4 basic personality types that affect how we think and behave, based on the chemicals in the brain:

1. Dopamine

Risk takers, creative, energetic, spontaneous.

2. Serotonin

Traditional, conventional, rule followers, orderly, loyal

3. Testosterone

Analytical, logical, driven, tough-minded, decisive

4. Estrogen

Nurturing, verbal and people skills, intuitive, caretaker

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According to a personality test conducted by Chemistry.com of 14 million people in over 40 countries, it seems that your personality type determines whether you're attracted to someone like you or someone totally different.

Both dopamine- and serotonin-based people are attracted to people like themselves. As a general rule, risk-takers stick with risk-takers, and traditionalists stick with traditionalists.

Testosterone and estrogen-based people, however, gravitate toward each other, almost as though they need the opposite of themselves in order to balance it all out.

So how can you use this information to know how to find your soulmate?


Think of a relationship as a dance. One of you must lead the dance, but the other must be able to follow.

We unconsciously try find a partner who will fit into our dance effortlessly —  someone who makes it seem like you've always been meant to dance with them. 

For some people, it means finding a carefree spontaneous person like themselves.

For others, it's finding someone who is the caregiver to your gift-taker.

At the end of the day, there is someone for everyone. Sometimes you just have to take a step back to really see who it is.

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If you need help getting your spouse to accept your divorce, accepting your spouse's desire to divorce, or any other relationships problems, please visit the websites of  Helen, Rhoberta, Ross, and Marcie directly. They’re here to help.