How does your man measure up?
The last time I had sex, I was thoroughly ticked off by how quickly it ended ... especially because it had come right after a year sex hiatus.
When I shared my disappointment with friends, we all wondered, how long is NOT long enough?
And I — with my silly expectations — hesitated, landing somewhere between 10 and 15 minutes. I mean, I need more ... don't you?!
But they swore that 15 minute sex was normal, and I swore they were full of sh*t.
But according to science, perhaps I was the fool after all.
Over 4,000 people in Britain were surveyed to bring you this disappointing, but clearly not surprising for most — all things considered.
And, clearly, I'm not the only one hurt by this, as 38 percent of the men and women surveyed were able to agree that they wished the sex lasted somewhat longer.
24 percent of people weighed in on how long they wish sex lasted, and admitted that they'd be much more satisfied with anything over a half an hour.
I couldn't agree more, but hey, maybe our perception is skewed from movies where characters talk about lasting all night long.
I don't know, I just know that 15 minutes won't do for me!
Especially because it's a known fact that women take longer to reach an orgasm.
According to research done by LoveHoney, an online sex retailer, Three-quarters of men orgasm almost every time have sex compared to only 28 percent of women, and the campaign aims to close this gap between the genders.
Frankly, I think this disproportionate number has a lot to do with it — there are not enough guys who care enough about the sexual pleasure of women to make it last past the point of them getting their nut.
I've heard too many stories of guys comfortable with orgasming quick and lying there with a goofy grin, while most women try to fake a pleased face.
But, not this woman! Just ask that guy who did me the favor of disappointing me after being the first to f*ck me after a year.
He was met with the worst stale face and my awfully oblivious commentary.
Me: "Wait, why'd you stop?" (Seriously, am I the only one who can't tell when men come?)
Him: "Oh, I finished."
Me: Big. Long. Endless blank stare. "Oh."
And, this is me being nice. I've actually whipped out my vibrator in front of a guy before.
But, I digress.
The point is we all want longer sex, so we've all got to put in the work on our own end first. And, if all else fails, can we force all quick-pumpers to wear some type of tag so that no one and I mean no one has to experience 9 minute sex again?
On behalf of women everywhere, we thank you in advance.