ALL THE WINE.
My name is Kate (though I'm called "Mom" way more often), and I drink wine... a lot... like, most nights of the week, a lot.
I'll admit to always loving a good glass of Sauvignon Blanc, but it wasn't until I became a mom that I started buying the stuff in bulk and thinking of my nightly glass not as a luxury after a hard day's work (did I even know what a hard day was?! Doubtful), but as a complete and utter necessity. You feel me, moms?
If so, then you know that a day spent with small children will give you about a million and one reasons to want a large glass of vino. Here are 25 that might sound familiar.
1. Your oldest had multiple nightmares and your youngest wet the bed, cutting your longest sleep cycle to about two hours.
2. At breakfast, you refereed a 10-minute fight over which kid got the yellow cereal bowl. Big loser: you.
3. It's PE day and child has decided gym shoes make her pinky toes feel weird two minutes before bus's arrival.
4. The babysitter canceled... again.
5. Because you literally haven't spoken to an adult all day long.
6. And haven't had a kid-free night away in a year.
7. Your kids have stolen every other delicious thing you've tried to consume all day.
8. You were forced to watch 2004 bomb Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed on Netflix... twice.
9. Daughter asked how old you were. "Thirty-five," you responded. "Oh, I thought you were 100," was daughter's reply.
10. Soon after, toddler jumped on your stomach, laughed, then told you, "Mommy, you got a big, squishy belly."
11. In short, your children are both adding to and enjoying your physical demise.
12. Ever watched a toddler try to open a Capri Sun?
13. Two kids, one giant cart, one hellish trip to Target.
14. Because the minute you pulled away from Target you realized you forgot the one thing you really needed.
15. Because it's too late to drink coffee.
16. Because it was 5 p.m. before you realized you didn't shower today.
17. Son asked for chicken for dinner. You made chicken. No, he wants meatballs. You made meatballs. Wait, he really wanted a hot dog.
18. What goes better with leftover chicken nuggets and half-eaten meatballs?
19. Dad isn't getting home until two hours after bedtime.
20. The only time you've had alone all day involved two minutes locked in the bathroom, with a toddler outside pounding on the door.
21. Child has decided he will only bathe standing up, while constantly screaming.
22. Because two bedtime books turned into 20 and a YouTube video about puppies.
23. Toddler proceeded to cry about not having his own puppy and would only be calmed by juice, a cookie, and more books.
24. Because you need to be reminded that you are actually an adult woman and not a baby servant.
25. Because you have to do it all over again tomorrow.
This article was originally published at PopSugar. Reprinted with permission from the author.