Those who let the past dictate the present willingly give up control over their future. Stop it.
Like many people, I had a so-so childhood. There were good times and there were more than my fair share of bad times.
I grew up in a home where my stepfather was an alcoholic and addict and my mother was a seething ball of rage whose bark was decidedly worse than its bite, which was bad enough on its own.
So often we hear we're products of our upbringing — and to a certain point it's true. However, just as often, adults who survived the perpetual land mine that is childhood use those ills suffered to explain away all the questionable things they do.
And to that I say: It's time to give it a rest.
Unless you suffered through debilitating trauma in your youth, chances are all the worst parts of those days spent as a half-pint have long since washed away.
Guys, you can't continue to blame your constant disrespect toward women on the way you grew up. Your life now is continuously informed by the way in which you should do things as an adult, so ... why don't you start doing them?
Does it make more sense to treat a woman like a person than it is to treat her like an object? That's because it absolutely makes sense and also: it's what you're supposed to do.
Ladies, you can't let your daddy issues give you carte blanche in the way you treat men. There's no sense in trying to get away with murder only to say that your bad attitude and questionable behavior is a defense mechanism triggered by the love you didn’t get when you were a kid.
Even the famous sometimes use their childhood as an excuse when their dirty laundry comes to light. Just ask Josh Duggar.
Duggar, of reality TV fame, had his name show up in the recent data dump of records from infidelity dating site AshleyMadison.com. Instead of just owning up and admitting that he likes sex, and plenty of it, he tossed out excuses of a repressed childhood and many folks buy that line wholesale.
While there's something to be said about repressive childhoods, to completely make oneself a slave to childhood issues as a reason for screwing up (or around) today is not only the cheap and easy way out, it insinuates that one had no personal development since adolescence.
If you like to get laid, just own up to it. That said, in the case of people like Duggar, their lives are built on an illusion of morality and right living, so being truly honest about sex is near-impossible. In such situations, scapegoating childhood, along with alcohol/drug abuse are the usual go-tos.
When all else fails, blame mom and dad.
If you’re an adult, your parents probably no longer control you or your actions. The people we are today, right here, right now is what we've made ourselves to be; it's our creation.
If we’re flawed, it's because of the choices we've made to get us to this point. Our concept of right and wrong didn't become fully formed at adolescence.
Life is so short, and yet, in many ways it's so long. To wallow in all the things that hurt you when you were young and use that as an excuse for your actions today is unhealthy.
At some point you have to admit your failings are your own. Your actions are your own, and as such, the solutions also have to be your own.
If we continue to hold on to the past, it quickly turns into a crutch. Even worse, it continues a cycle that's passed onto your children. They see what you do and then your excuses become their excuses.
Only you can break the cycle that holds you back in life.
We all have the ability to do better, so why not start by growing the hell up?